Jokes
Why don’t you pass some time by reading through our collection of cue sport jokes? Here, you get the chance to rate whether you think they are funny or not, or you can choose to add some jokes of your own to Online Pool.
Doctor
Doctor! Doctor!! I think I'm turning into a snooker ball.
Get to the back of the queue!
Snooker
Two drunks went into a pub and found the snooker table set up for a game.
"Can we have a game?" they asked the barman.
"Sure, it’s all free."
After an hour neither of them had potted a ball.
"Lets speed things up," - said the first drunk.
"How?" - asked the other.
"Firstly, lets take the balls out of the frame..."
Snooker in Heaven
Marco and Garret has been playing pool together since they were ten. They always said if one of them died, that one would come back and tell the other if heaven has a snooker league.
After about 30 or 40 years Marco was shooting snooker and ... died. Once that happened Garret wanted to know if he was going to come back and let him know. Well, he came back about a week later and said "Hay, man, you won't believe it is great", Garret said. "So they do?". "Well, I have some good news and some bad news", said Marco. "What's the good news?"
And then Marco replied "The good news is that they have a great league team!!! And the bad news is that we have league tomorrow and you're up first..."
Gorilla playing snooker
How do you call a gorilla playing snooker?
"A hairy potter!!"
Surprised cue ball
What did the cue ball say when it was hit by surprise?
“I’m stunned!”
A snooker players - good gardeners
Why would snooker players make good gardeners?
Because they know everything about pots and plants.
Elephant and a snake in the jungle
The elephant goes to the snake and asks "Do you want to play snooker??"
"Are you a fool? We are in the jungle and i haven't got any arms!!" the snake said.
"It's easy", says the elephant. "We pick a colour and then do a trick and the other one says if they got the colour or not!!!"
The snake agrees to play the game and says "you go first". The elephant says "I will go for a red ball."
An Affair
A man is having an affair.
Worried that his wife will find out, he phones one of his mates, hopping that she'll help her solve this problem.
Later, when he goes home to his wife in the early hours of the morning after putting snooker chalk on his shirt and just behind his ear. He was told to do so by his mate but wondered why.
"Where have you been?" says the wife.
Sexual choice
Why is sexual choice just like a game of snooker?
Because you have to decide whether to take tight brown or an easy pink.
Bar Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives from the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them too. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The barman screams at the guy:
"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says:
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"